Earlier this year, I started to write an email, the objective of which was to re-establish some boundaries with a client that would bring our working relationship back on track.
I had started working with them over a year before and we had agreed to a flexible agreement as I was already committed to working with a number of 1:1 coaching clients when they first approached me. We agreed that I could complete the work at a time that worked for me, as long as I was available for meetings with the business leaders and, more importantly, that the work got done – the hiring manager even said “I don’t care if you do it at midnight on a Saturday, we just need it doing”.
It became clear to me as I was listing the examples of all of the ways that the boundaries had eroded that it had gone too far.
Was I to blame in some way? Of course I was. When you are trying to be accommodating, you bend over backwards, sometimes this is not always reciprocated and I realised that request after request chipped away at the original agreement, creating a “new normal” in the process.
I sat back, reread the list and decided that I did not want to re-establish the boundaries, instead, I wanted to terminate the contract. It was only when I saw everything in black and white that I realised this was not an agreement that I wanted to be part of any longer.
All of the people I had encountered in the business were a joy to work with, they were so kind and receptive to the number of questions that I asked. It’s just that I no longer felt respected by the one person that I interacted with 95% of the time.
Never before had the phrase “you join and organisation and leave a manager” rang more loudly in my ears.
“You join an organisation and leave a manager”
So, after working a weeks’ notice, I had to put some distance between me and the organisation – this is what I did.
- I replaced my personal footer on my email, which I had to remove it because gmail didn’t have the correct font and they didn’t want people to know that I was not an employee. 🤷🏼 I had made multiple requests to be put on their system in order to have a company email address but got fed up of asking in the end. Putting my footer back on my email felt as though I had restored my identity.
- I erased all the ideas from my whiteboard. One thing that frustrated me were the number of ideas I was asked to come up with, for there to be a more pressing priority a few days later. These were rarely reviewed and I was storing them “just in case” they would be.
- I threw away all the Post-it notes off my monitor, and from around my desk that had things to do with this organisation, little reminders, etc. As the person I was working closely with “did not have capacity” for a 1:1, I was holding onto these “just in case” they would change their mind. They didn’t!
- I booked a tripto create some space between closing of one role and the starting of another. Fortuitously, a friend of mine decided to host a party, so I made a long weekend of it! I headed to my favourite place which is where I go and find myself, the place where I go to think, to be inspired and to create.
- I wiped down my desk to start a fresh when I came back from my trip.
- On my final day, I removed all of the papers from my backpack, just in case I was contacted about a question/issue – this way, I wouldn’t be able to respond. I felt as though I had literally taken the weight off my back.
I now had a blank page to get back to the business of Jane Ferré Coaching and felt excited to think about all of those “open loops” that I had going on that didn’t get the attention they deserved when I was working for the organisation.
I returned feeling a little lost and directionless, and I realised that I hadn’t completed my Annual Planning Template for 2024, which is how I think about and plan my activity for the year ahead.
So I picked up where I left off:
- I worked with a business buddy of mine to finally release our eBook entitled “How to Secure More Podcast Appearances, Grow Your Audience and Sell More”
- I submitted a proposal for a second book I’d love to write for an online publisher I’m working with, and
- I’ve signed a number of other 1:1 clients who I absolutely LOVE working with.
The situation I found myself in didn’t happen over night, the change in how we worked together happened over a number of months and I have learned what to do and what NOT to do if I were to find myself in a similar position.
I’m also grateful for the opportunity to work in a different business with a client overseas that really tested the true meaning of flexible working.
It’s now onwards and upwards creating a new direction for my coaching business.
